D
Deleted member 11167
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2020
- Posts
- 2,716
- Reputation
- 3,784
I fear that I cant do this shit much longer
I'm tired of constant mental state fluctuations ranging from Insanely optimistic and filled to the brim with hope to you are a socially retarded genetic death end that is breathing air for nothing.
No matter how hard I try to find a way out of this shit situation it seems that all solutions are either currently impossible for me or would take decades to come to fruition. it's just unbelievably hard to make any progress knowing this.
The worst of all is that I can't even vent to anyone IRL I tried it once with my parents but they would just shut me up and tell me that I'm a failure because "I don't work hard enough" and how "I'm a failure because I imagine myself to be one" no matter how much I argue with them they don't understand so I have to be docile for the fear that they might kick me out I'm 18 so they could that if they wanted to.
If I could time travel back when I was 15 with all the stuff I now know I might have had a chance at life.
But it's just too late for any significant change now
I don't have a single IRL friend nor did I have it for years.
I was never in any relationship of any kind.
All of my peers all going through their lives with the normal current of events that just happen for them all the while I'm yet to recover from all the shit that has happened in my shit existence.
I'm just a rotten footnote in their story a side NPC nothing more nothing else a thing that they can point to see just how good their lives are.
Every day that passes I'm getting older
In not that distant future I will be that guy some mother points to her child and telling him that is what you will become if you don't go to school jfl.
@Native
I'm tired of constant mental state fluctuations ranging from Insanely optimistic and filled to the brim with hope to you are a socially retarded genetic death end that is breathing air for nothing.
No matter how hard I try to find a way out of this shit situation it seems that all solutions are either currently impossible for me or would take decades to come to fruition. it's just unbelievably hard to make any progress knowing this.
The worst of all is that I can't even vent to anyone IRL I tried it once with my parents but they would just shut me up and tell me that I'm a failure because "I don't work hard enough" and how "I'm a failure because I imagine myself to be one" no matter how much I argue with them they don't understand so I have to be docile for the fear that they might kick me out I'm 18 so they could that if they wanted to.
If I could time travel back when I was 15 with all the stuff I now know I might have had a chance at life.
But it's just too late for any significant change now
I don't have a single IRL friend nor did I have it for years.
I was never in any relationship of any kind.
All of my peers all going through their lives with the normal current of events that just happen for them all the while I'm yet to recover from all the shit that has happened in my shit existence.
I'm just a rotten footnote in their story a side NPC nothing more nothing else a thing that they can point to see just how good their lives are.
Every day that passes I'm getting older
In not that distant future I will be that guy some mother points to her child and telling him that is what you will become if you don't go to school jfl.
@Native
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