Accepted into the ward.

[MoggerGaston]

Will be going in next week for introductions.
In the end it will be: 3-4 days per week for up to 2 years. 4-5 hours a day. (I will live at home like normal, etc.)
Consisting of 2 days of group sessions, 1-2 days of individual therapy.

1)Therapy will be focussed on discovering why my emotional reactions and thinking patterns are the way they are, meaning going back to childhood experiences of abuse, trauma, rejection, bullying, etc.
2) Processing this trauma in a healthy way.
3) And then again, going back to who I was as a child and to try to figure out who I really am, without the trauma affecting/stopping that development this time.
How would I actually feel and think, without trauma having broken that personal development? What are my desires, what are things I like? Etc.
4) Integrating this new child-like emotional being you now discovered, into your normal life. Making the necessary changes in your life, environment, etc. to accommodate the new you. So you can further develop emotionally over time, instead of falling back into old habits/patterns.


Idk I simply don't think I have another choice. It's one hell of a commitment, to be at a mental institution for up to 4 days a week for 2 years.

It gives me a lot of anxiety because it makes it harder to pretend like I am NT? Like how would I even get a girlfriend/fwb while being institutionalized?
I would have to hide the fact I go to a ward, and will have to pretend like I have a job with somewhat irregular hours to my future girlfriend/fwb, something like that.

idk, all kinda fucked. Also won't be able to have a normal job + little to no hope in finishing my physics degree either with this time schedule for the next 2 years. + my part time job I have to do in the weekends which keeps me alive.

Of course my life would be better if I was better-looking, richer, had more friends, was fucking more girls, etc.
But think realistically. Not 'bro u need to become chad slayer millionaire or its over and just rope - vibe'

Say I don't go to the ward, instead I somehow re-focus on self-improvement. And I achieve the following (absolute best case scenario and unrealistic imo):
I become slightly better looking, reasonably well-off financially, have a couple close IRL friends, have a somewhat satisfactory LTR or fucking a new girl every once in a while

I would still be unhappy for sure

PTSD doesn't suddenly disappear.

is what it is.

TALES FROM THE WARD INCOMING

 

[MoggerGaston]

Feels like I need to take a 2 year break from life in a way.

Too much has happened in my past, too much shit is haunting me. I can't shove it away like I have done thus far and try to life a normie adult-life when I never had the normie childhood. Instead being brutally traumatized, forcing myself to do normie stuff like an emotionless robot.

It doesn't fucking work.

I hope 2 years from now I will actually be a happy and content person, even though I havent progressed in money, status, studies, career, etc. in those 2 years.

I will hopefully have a more solid foundation which gives me emotional peace and will allow me to get back at life, dating, socializing, moneymaking, everything. But now without this emotional trauma, anxiety, stress, depression, insecurity, constantly destroying my life satisfaction like it does now.

 

[BrahminBoss]

 

[MoggerGaston]

The thing about fictional characters like Batman, but likewise IRL characters with mental trauma,
who use their pain, hatred, grief, sorrow as FUEL to achieve 'superhuman' accomplishments.

The thing is that it's only admired, loved, liked from the outside. We admire them.
The mentally ill individuals themselves, they don't get to enjoy their own accomplishments.

They are stuck in that permanent cycle of trauma fueling them to do the next superhuman thing. Then they achieve it, realize they still feel like garbage due to unresolved trauma, and they go onto the next project. Rinse and repeat.

It's an interesting life, I don't disagree. But it requires a very delicate type of circumstances to even be a viable thing at all in the first place.
The average person with severe mental trauma simply become some homeless addicted retard.

Even with my 130IQ and coping with trauma through academic over-achievement in my youth, combined with a high-T competitive drive, I wasn't able to achieve anything meaningful.
Not the right amount of luck, circumstance, family background, etc.
I come from a poor slavic shit family, not multi-billionaire batman style.

If batman was born in some slavic shit-family in Arkham, he would just have become one of the thugs he is now killing, etc.


I want to be batman too. But ain't happening.

 

[Clown Show]

Report back, I wonder how this process goes even though I am very doubtful if it can solve anything.

I by myself have been trying to process traumatic shit that has happened in the past but without success, the mind is completely corrupted at this point, I literally feel numb and dead.

 

[Manana]

Best of luck man.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Report back, I wonder how this process goes even though I am very doubtful if it can solve anything.

I by myself have been trying to process traumatic shit that has happened in the past but without success, the mind is completely corrupted at this point, I literally feel numb and dead.

Today was a difficult day after meeting a new psychiatrist at that ward and discussing my issues with her.
Towards the end of the session she said something like: 'The way you describe your thoughts and emotional patterns is extremely negative, extremely brutal, life must feel fucking awful to you. I really wish for you to get some enjoyment, fulfillment back in your life.'

Had me cry multiple times for the rest of the day as I kept realizing how numb and dead inside I feel and have felt for the past years. I feel like some sort of machine.

The amount of hatred, pain, sadness I have simply isn't manageable emotionally. All your mind can do is become emotionally numb/dead, which is what has happened.

Probably the same for you.


Idk man, I hope this has succes, I will report back. Idk what else to do.

I stopped believing in this delusion that I can get fulfillment through achieving more looks/money/status/slaying a long time ago. It's cope.

I have to give this a more serious try now.

 

[<6PSLcel]

Will be going in next week for introductions.
In the end it will be: 3-4 days per week for up to 2 years. 4-5 hours a day. (I will live at home like normal, etc.)
Consisting of 2 days of group sessions, 1-2 days of individual therapy.

1)Therapy will be focussed on discovering why my emotional reactions and thinking patterns are the way they are, meaning going back to childhood experiences of abuse, trauma, rejection, bullying, etc.
2) Processing this trauma in a healthy way.
3) And then again, going back to who I was as a child and to try to figure out who I really am, without the trauma affecting/stopping that development this time.
How would I actually feel and think, without trauma having broken that personal development? What are my desires, what are things I like? Etc.
4) Integrating this new child-like emotional being you now discovered, into your normal life. Making the necessary changes in your life, environment, etc. to accommodate the new you. So you can further develop emotionally over time, instead of falling back into old habits/patterns.


Idk I simply don't think I have another choice. It's one hell of a commitment, to be at a mental institution for up to 4 days a week for 2 years.

It gives me a lot of anxiety because it makes it harder to pretend like I am NT? Like how would I even get a girlfriend/fwb while being institutionalized?
I would have to hide the fact I go to a ward, and will have to pretend like I have a job with somewhat irregular hours to my future girlfriend/fwb, something like that.

idk, all kinda fucked. Also won't be able to have a normal job + little to no hope in finishing my physics degree either with this time schedule for the next 2 years. + my part time job I have to do in the weekends which keeps me alive.

Of course my life would be better if I was better-looking, richer, had more friends, was fucking more girls, etc.
But think realistically. Not 'bro u need to become chad slayer millionaire or its over and just rope - vibe'

Say I don't go to the ward, instead I somehow re-focus on self-improvement. And I achieve the following (absolute best case scenario and unrealistic imo):
I become slightly better looking, reasonably well-off financially, have a couple close IRL friends, have a somewhat satisfactory LTR or fucking a new girl every once in a while

I would still be unhappy for sure

PTSD doesn't suddenly disappear.

is what it is.

TALES FROM THE WARD INCOMING

View attachment 2906198

I wanna live in a ward tbh

 

[AlexAP]

Damn I wish there was some thing like that here in Germany, I didn't stay in the place I went once.

Mental healthcare is shitty were I live ngl.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I wanna live in a ward tbh

I hope there's hot mentally ill women in my group, but I fear the worst.

I think in the Netherlands they cut-off young adulthood at 25yo. So being 28yo, I am stuck with 'proper adults', being one of the younger ones in that class. So no mentally ill women for me. Some hot MILF maybe.

I will be visiting this ward almost daily though, so will have to find mentally ill JB at the same facility but doing therapy in the teen department or smth.
Also already saw several cute employees there working for the ward.

Opportunities are there.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Damn I wish there was some thing like that here in Germany, I didn't stay in the place I went once.

Mental healthcare is shitty were I live ngl.

I am going to be doing this:

Was ist Schematherapie

www.schematherapie-freiburg.de

u could discuss it with ur doctor/therapist or look where they offer something like this in Germany. Maybe it will help you.

 

[whiteislandpill]

Are you gonna spit the blackpill to the therapists?

 

[Axii]

Will be going in next week for introductions.
In the end it will be: 3-4 days per week for up to 2 years. 4-5 hours a day. (I will live at home like normal, etc.)
Consisting of 2 days of group sessions, 1-2 days of individual therapy.

1)Therapy will be focussed on discovering why my emotional reactions and thinking patterns are the way they are, meaning going back to childhood experiences of abuse, trauma, rejection, bullying, etc.
2) Processing this trauma in a healthy way.
3) And then again, going back to who I was as a child and to try to figure out who I really am, without the trauma affecting/stopping that development this time.
How would I actually feel and think, without trauma having broken that personal development? What are my desires, what are things I like? Etc.
4) Integrating this new child-like emotional being you now discovered, into your normal life. Making the necessary changes in your life, environment, etc. to accommodate the new you. So you can further develop emotionally over time, instead of falling back into old habits/patterns.


Idk I simply don't think I have another choice. It's one hell of a commitment, to be at a mental institution for up to 4 days a week for 2 years.

It gives me a lot of anxiety because it makes it harder to pretend like I am NT? Like how would I even get a girlfriend/fwb while being institutionalized?
I would have to hide the fact I go to a ward, and will have to pretend like I have a job with somewhat irregular hours to my future girlfriend/fwb, something like that.

idk, all kinda fucked. Also won't be able to have a normal job + little to no hope in finishing my physics degree either with this time schedule for the next 2 years. + my part time job I have to do in the weekends which keeps me alive.

Of course my life would be better if I was better-looking, richer, had more friends, was fucking more girls, etc.
But think realistically. Not 'bro u need to become chad slayer millionaire or its over and just rope - vibe'

Say I don't go to the ward, instead I somehow re-focus on self-improvement. And I achieve the following (absolute best case scenario and unrealistic imo):
I become slightly better looking, reasonably well-off financially, have a couple close IRL friends, have a somewhat satisfactory LTR or fucking a new girl every once in a while

I would still be unhappy for sure

PTSD doesn't suddenly disappear.

is what it is.

TALES FROM THE WARD INCOMING

View attachment 2906198

whatever you do bhai do not get molested

won't make that mistake again...

 

[moggathon]

Why don’t you just leave society and go become a lumber jack or something

 

[radicalrationalist]

you are weak

 

[dopaminebeyondfried]

Tbh I'm not really a fan of therapy (especially for men) but I do believe in unresolved/suppressed trauma, if you have fears that you never confronted they will definitely bite you in the ass later in life

 

[Freixel]

wtf is Gaston anyway?

 

[dopaminebeyondfried]

I hope there's hot mentally ill women in my group, but I fear the worst.

I think in the Netherlands they cut-off young adulthood at 25yo. So being 28yo, I am stuck with 'proper adults', being one of the younger ones in that class. So no mentally ill women for me. Some hot MILF maybe.

I will be visiting this ward almost daily though, so will have to find mentally ill JB at the same facility but doing therapy in the teen department or smth.
Also already saw several cute employees there working for the ward.

Opportunities are there.

Don't get your hopes up, first time I was in the ward I was just talking to this foid like a normal person and she freaked out and thought I was hitting on her

 

[Aladin]

Feels like I need to take a 2 year break from life in a way.

Too much has happened in my past, too much shit is haunting me. I can't shove it away like I have done thus far and try to life a normie adult-life when I never had the normie childhood. Instead being brutally traumatized, forcing myself to do normie stuff like an emotionless robot.

It doesn't fucking work.

I hope 2 years from now I will actually be a happy and content person, even though I havent progressed in money, status, studies, career, etc. in those 2 years.

I will hopefully have a more solid foundation which gives me emotional peace and will allow me to get back at life, dating, socializing, moneymaking, everything. But now without this emotional trauma, anxiety, stress, depression, insecurity, constantly destroying my life satisfaction like it does now.

Have fun at the loony bin at least u don’t spend all day there.

 

[Clown Show]

Today was a difficult day after meeting a new psychiatrist at that ward and discussing my issues with her.
Towards the end of the session she said something like: 'The way you describe your thoughts and emotional patterns is extremely negative, extremely brutal, life must feel fucking awful to you. I really wish for you to get some enjoyment, fulfillment back in your life.

It already started with usual HealthyGamerScammer tier gaslighting "your thougts are what is causing negative emotions, you can't control your environment but you can control your thoughts, change your thoughts and you will change your life", bla bla bla, I already don't like this. It's not thoughts, some people have literally shit lives. Why can't anyone just acknowledge your suffering, truly empathize, maybe give you hug and say fuck this faggot world.

I hope there's hot mentally ill women in my group, but I fear the worst.

I think in the Netherlands they cut-off young adulthood at 25yo. So being 28yo, I am stuck with 'proper adults', being one of the younger ones in that class. So no mentally ill women for me. Some hot MILF maybe.

I will be visiting this ward almost daily though, so will have to find mentally ill JB at the same facility but doing therapy in the teen department or smth.
Also already saw several cute employees there working for the ward.

Opportunities are there.

Trust me, the best thing that can come out of all this is that you find some gf there and start a family with her, that will truly make you happy and change you for the better.

But don't listen to my incel rage ramblings anyway, you will see how it goes yourself.

 

[MoggerGaston]

It already started with usual HealthyGamerScammer tier gaslighting "your thougts are what is causing negative emotions, you can't control your environment but you can control your thoughts, change your thoughts and you will change your life", bla bla bla, I already don't like this. It's not thoughts, some people have literally shit lives. Why can't anyone just acknowledge your suffering, truly empathize, maybe give you hug and say fuck this faggot world.

It's not applicable to my personal situation.

My own parents abused me as a child. Only at age 23yo I was able to cut ties with all of my family.
The result is that I have ideas, trauma, emotional issues, etc. resulting from being abused as a child/teen by my parents. Something which simply wasn't supposed to happen. It is inhuman. You aren't supposed to be abused by your parents, even if you are ugly.

The saying is that the only woman who will truly love you is your mother. What if your own mother never even loved you? My situation.

Now I am an adult, I am no longer abused by parents because I am an orphan now and ditched my family. Yet I still suffer from the trauma I endured as a child.

Your belief is that I simply have a shit life, and I need to accept that. But that's not my reality.
I HAD a shit life, because my parents were abusive motherfuckers who ruined my life.

But NOW I ditched my parents, I no longer have this fucked up life, because I ditched these abusive worthless subhuman family members.
My life is 'okay' now. It's far from ideal, but I am no longer being bullied/abused which is a massive improvement from my childhood.

Yet I still suffer from the trauma.

Can you understand?

Trust me, the best thing that can come out of all this is that you find some gf there and start a family with her, that will truly make you happy and change you for the better.

I don't care about a gf.

I just want to deal with my past and leave it behind so I can live in the present without this massive burden from the past.

My past haunts me so much, that I am unable to enjoy my present, even when it is good.

 

[LancasteR]

Don’t try leaving the ward like this

Good luck dude

 

[MoggerGaston]

Don’t try leaving the ward like this

Good luck dude

I think it's impossible for me to go the ward.

Ever since writing this topic I've been having so many doubts how this would even help me.
All of this stuff is voluntary, I can reject it whenever I want.

All I can think of is that I don't want to live at all anymore. Why bother with this bullshit?

My future is rotting on drugs+alcohol and eventually killing myself when things get too rough.

 

[LancasteR]

I think it's impossible for me to go the ward.

Ever since writing this topic I've been having so many doubts how this would even help me.
All of this stuff is voluntary, I can reject it whenever I want.

All I can think of is that I don't want to live at all anymore. Why bother with this bullshit?

My future is rotting on drugs+alcohol and eventually killing myself when things get too rough.

Dude I was just joking. Don‘t take this the false way.

I think if you take a break from everything and reevaluate and dig into your past piece for piece you will find what‘s bothering you.
I wouldn‘t worry too much. Don‘t even focus what’s happening in the world or in your near surroundings, only yourself and people that want to help you.
Just babysteps for the beginning.

 

[Clown Show]

Your belief is that I simply have a shit life, and I need to accept that. But that's not my reality.
I HAD a shit life, because my parents were abusive motherfuckers who ruined my life.

No, I meant to say that you have a shit life because of exact specific circumstances and not in a sense that you are some usual below average loser like there are many like that out there. I know the exact factors that contributed to me having a shit life and the main one is being bullied as a kid, it caused perpetual trauma and subsequent failures to date/socialize properly, although I am also below average in certain areas especially looks so I am also a loser on top of that. You managed to have a woman genuinely attracted to you to have sex at least once in your life, while I still didn't experience it at 26yo, it's abysmal levels of subhumanity, but it's getting kinda offtopic.

I don't care about a gf.

I just want to deal with my past and leave it behind so I can live in the present without this massive burden from the past.

My past haunts me so much, that I am unable to enjoy my present, even when it is good.

And that's why I said that I am interested to see how these ward adventures go.

I personally still haven't found a way to deal with my trauma nor did I witness anyone who managed to do it tbh. I guess that at some point it gets fucked up at the brain chemistry level and I don't know if it is possible to fix. Being balls deep in a Stacy pussy who loves me would certainly help.

I just get allergic reaction when I hear "therapists" and reddit experts say "thoughts, changing thoughts, thoughts are causing it, thought patterns, emotional patterns" and other bullshit like that. And they still didn't solve it, they still haven't found a way of fundamentally changing your emotional patterns, they only know to nuke your brain with meds, bring me a fucking psychiatrist who knows how to fix it and I will give him ever penny that I have, I am genuinely interested in how do they do these things. Putting a bullet in my bully's brain would heal me immensely for example.

In the end, only someone who experienced real neglect, abuse and maliciousness from another human can fundamentally understand this kind of trauma.

 

[High Cortisol Chad]

Therapy doesn't work, ssris doesn't work, exercise doesn't work, socialising doesn't work

Only opioids work, of course not long term due to tolerance but as a prof of concept

 

[4ever]

Therapy doesn't work, ssris doesn't work, exercise doesn't work, socialising doesn't work

Only opioids work, of course not long term due to tolerance but as a prof of concept

Totally different indications.
Also behavioral therapy has the same if not higher success rate as ssris.

Keep working on your mental health @MoggerGaston - u need that way more than some psl shit.

 

[BrutalMogger]

Good luck. Say hello to @_MVP_ while you there.

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

Will be going in next week for introductions.
In the end it will be: 3-4 days per week for up to 2 years. 4-5 hours a day. (I will live at home like normal, etc.)
Consisting of 2 days of group sessions, 1-2 days of individual therapy.

1)Therapy will be focussed on discovering why my emotional reactions and thinking patterns are the way they are, meaning going back to childhood experiences of abuse, trauma, rejection, bullying, etc.
2) Processing this trauma in a healthy way.
3) And then again, going back to who I was as a child and to try to figure out who I really am, without the trauma affecting/stopping that development this time.
How would I actually feel and think, without trauma having broken that personal development? What are my desires, what are things I like? Etc.
4) Integrating this new child-like emotional being you now discovered, into your normal life. Making the necessary changes in your life, environment, etc. to accommodate the new you. So you can further develop emotionally over time, instead of falling back into old habits/patterns.


Idk I simply don't think I have another choice. It's one hell of a commitment, to be at a mental institution for up to 4 days a week for 2 years.

It gives me a lot of anxiety because it makes it harder to pretend like I am NT? Like how would I even get a girlfriend/fwb while being institutionalized?
I would have to hide the fact I go to a ward, and will have to pretend like I have a job with somewhat irregular hours to my future girlfriend/fwb, something like that.

idk, all kinda fucked. Also won't be able to have a normal job + little to no hope in finishing my physics degree either with this time schedule for the next 2 years. + my part time job I have to do in the weekends which keeps me alive.

Of course my life would be better if I was better-looking, richer, had more friends, was fucking more girls, etc.
But think realistically. Not 'bro u need to become chad slayer millionaire or its over and just rope - vibe'

Say I don't go to the ward, instead I somehow re-focus on self-improvement. And I achieve the following (absolute best case scenario and unrealistic imo):
I become slightly better looking, reasonably well-off financially, have a couple close IRL friends, have a somewhat satisfactory LTR or fucking a new girl every once in a while

I would still be unhappy for sure

PTSD doesn't suddenly disappear.

is what it is.

TALES FROM THE WARD INCOMING

View attachment 2906198

You do realize that therapy is just a paid version of society's bluepill gaslighting, right? You're literally paying someone (or at the very least dedicating a significant amount of time) to convincing yourself of their bullshit.

This is how the session is going to go: Oh, you were rejected by a girl because you were ugly? Here, let me show you how you're wrong about that, even though you overheard her making fun of your looks with her friends behind your back. How dare you engage in that misogynistic way of thinking. That'll be $150 per hour, thanks.

 

[MoggerGaston]

No, I meant to say that you have a shit life because of exact specific circumstances and not in a sense that you are some usual below average loser like there are many like that out there. I know the exact factors that contributed to me having a shit life and the main one is being bullied as a kid, it caused perpetual trauma and subsequent failures to date/socialize properly, although I am also below average in certain areas especially looks so I am also a loser on top of that.

If being bullied as a kid caused you mental trauma, but you are no longer being bullied as an adult. You have to realize that emotional trauma from being bullied in your past is no longer relevant to your present life and is only holding you back. That sorta vibe.

You managed to have a woman genuinely attracted to you to have sex at least once in your life, while I still didn't experience it at 26yo, it's abysmal levels of subhumanity, but it's getting kinda offtopic.

And that's why I said that I am interested to see how these ward adventures go.

I personally still haven't found a way to deal with my trauma nor did I witness anyone who managed to do it tbh. I guess that at some point it gets fucked up at the brain chemistry level and I don't know if it is possible to fix. Being balls deep in a Stacy pussy who loves me would certainly help.

Fucking a hot girlfriend was good for my mental health, but you can't heal a childhood of trauma in one night of fucking a hot girl. It's delusional.

It literally takes years to undo childhood trauma. The stacy ditched me within 3 months and I was left at the same place I started at.

I just get allergic reaction when I hear "therapists" and reddit experts say "thoughts, changing thoughts, thoughts are causing it, thought patterns, emotional patterns" and other bullshit like that. And they still didn't solve it, they still haven't found a way of fundamentally changing your emotional patterns, they only know to nuke your brain with meds, bring me a fucking psychiatrist who knows how to fix it and I will give him ever penny that I have, I am genuinely interested in how do they do these things. Putting a bullet in my bully's brain would heal me immensely for example.

In the end, only someone who experienced real neglect, abuse and maliciousness from another human can fundamentally understand this kind of trauma.

I haven't been suggested meds by my new therapists. Nuking your brain with meds is only some therapists do, not all.

I don't fucking know man. I hate my life, I hate women, I hate men, I hate everything.

What the fuck can I even do in this garbage world?

I hate my life so fucking much I don't even know what to do.

I am thinking, these people want to invest 20 hours/week into 'helping' me, even if I don't believe in their help or where it will get me.
What fucking better option do I have?


Like you still believe that all you need is a girlfriend and you will be cured. I already had 2 'girlfriends' and now I know girlfriends just ditch you the moment you aren't the 'perfect boyfriend' they envisioned you were.

The moment you stop frauding and show the real you, is the moment you get ditched. So I don't believe in that anymore.

It's all just pointless tbh. All you can do is focus on self-love. You yourself, are the only person you should trust and love.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Dude I was just joking. Don‘t take this the false way.

I think if you take a break from everything and reevaluate and dig into your past piece for piece you will find what‘s bothering you.
I wouldn‘t worry too much. Don‘t even focus what’s happening in the world or in your near surroundings, only yourself and people that want to help you.
Just babysteps for the beginning.

I've already dug in my past and realized how much I was abused by my parents, how much I missed out on by being a looksminned, parentally abused kid. etc.

I can't change my past. Therefore I can't change my present since who you are in the present is an accumulation of experiences from your past and corresponding mental/emotional adaptation.

What can you even do honestly? You are powerless.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Therapy doesn't work, ssris doesn't work, exercise doesn't work, socialising doesn't work

Only opioids work, of course not long term due to tolerance but as a prof of concept

Ketamine+mephedrone+MDMA+shrooms+alcohol for me

keeps me going.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Totally different indications.
Also behavioral therapy has the same if not higher success rate as ssris.

Keep working on your mental health @MoggerGaston - u need that way more than some psl shit.

I don't know how to work on my mental health.

My mood is largely something that is just forced upon me, I have only very limited control.
Then when I have a bad mood (most of the time) it results in bad thoughts as well. And I can hardly fight that either.

Fighting against your own mental health fighting yourself, is such an insanely hard fight. Easily the hardest fight you will have in your life, ever.

And you have to do it all alone. It's so fucking brutal.

 

[JoeKeys9]

Bad move man. big mistake in my opinion

Stop drugs

Forget therapy and the ward

Just maxx life

do the basics like good diet, exercise everyday, lots of sleep

and stay busy progressing in mastering your craft, and enjoying life with hobbies/friends/gf/family

when ur busy 24/7 u havent got time to think about the shit thats haunting u

 

[MoggerGaston]

You do realize that therapy is just a paid version of society's bluepill gaslighting, right? You're literally paying someone (or at the very least dedicating a significant amount of time) to convincing yourself of their bullshit.

Yeah I do realize this. Yet the woman that's being paid by my health insurance to interact with me has 20+ years of experience in the field and has no reason not to help me. There's so many mentally ill people in the Netherlands, she would have plenty of work regardless.

I realize that our conversations are artificial, in that she is being paid literally hundreds of euros per hours to even interact with me whatsoever.
Yet one would have to be a full-retard to not realize that there's value in a psychiatrist with 20+ years of experience interacting with you.

I've had garbage therapists in the past, therapist who I couldn't take seriously. Rookies, failures, etc.
It's the first time ever, that I feel taken seriously be therapists. And I feel like my current therapists are professionals, adequate, they don't fuck around but have a lot of experience.

My current therapist admitted that she feels like she can't get through to me, because I am not a usual case and my beliefs are deeply rooted. Which is why she is suggesting this stronger treatment in the ward, from the start already.

It's only fair honestly.
Imagine if a 1hour/week session with a therapist would 'cure' your mental illness. How mentally ill were you then, in the first place?
Barely.

It's a fucking joke. 1 hour/week doesnt do fucking shit.

This is how the session is going to go: Oh, you were rejected by a girl because you were ugly? Here, let me show you how you're wrong about that, even though you overheard her making fun of your looks with her friends behind your back. How dare you engage in that misogynistic way of thinking. That'll be $150 per hour, thanks.

It's not the same man. I explained above.

 

[High Cortisol Chad]

Totally different indications.

Doesn't matter. They mog therapy and ssris to oblivion

Also behavioral therapy has the same if not higher success rate as ssris.

Which is very low for both. Bearly above placebo and also keep in mind huge publication bias in ssris studies

 

[MoggerGaston]

Doesn't matter. They mog therapy and ssris to oblivion



Which is very low for both. Bearly above placebo and also keep in mind huge publication bias in ssris studies

ssri's aren't standard here. Many therapists and psychiatrists here are against them and believe that using them only represses/copes with underlying mental issues and therefore it doesn't help in the long run.

I've been to several psychiatrists, knowing of my drug and alcohol use, explaining my situation, and they were strongly against the use of anti-depressants for me.
The general recommendation they gave was:

'You are already using drugs/alcohol to cope with your mental issues. Using SSRI's is just another similar coping mechanism like alcohol/drugs. The goal is for you to use less coping mechanism all together. Less drugs/alcohol, but also no SSRI's.
Start feeling your pain again head-on and dealing with it in a better, healthy way in the future. I am not going to prescribe SSRI's to you because it will just be another coping mechanism taking you further away from where you need to go.'

These were 2 different psychiatrists which give me this very similar evaluation.

But I've also had different therapists/psychiatrists who were very eager/keen to get me on as many/different anti-depressants as possible etc.

Not every mental-healthcare worker is the same man. There's trash, and there's good ones.
I've been through dozens at this point, and I can recognize trash from decent now.

I can honestly, truthfully say that the therapist I have now is good and not just fucking around. It's not the same man.

 

[MoggerGaston]

do the basics like good diet, exercise everyday, lots of sleep

ive already done this and much more in 2019-2020 when I was part of a top rowing frat and performing at optimal levels socially+athletically.

My life was better, felt better, yet I still had this massive unresolved trauma always lingering in the background, always.

and stay busy progressing in mastering your craft, and enjoying life with hobbies/friends/gf/family

when ur busy 24/7 u havent got time to think about the shit thats haunting u

I agree that being busy is better and indeed, you are less over-thinking.

But the problem I was facing back then, is that the more I socialized with people, the more lonely I felt.
I recognized that all these people I was socializing with, never had any trauma, they never had garbage childhoods, they were always happy and socialized, happy, cared after, etc.
I started feeling alienated, even when I was part of their cliques. Good social experiences kept reminding me of my past and how bad my social experiences were as a child, compared to their great childhood experiences.

It would ruin the moment and make me feel like shit, like I am some freak subhuman beast.

I have severe mental trauma, PTSD, etc. You can't compare me to the average 'failed-normie' struggling.

I have demons from the past haunting me. It's horrible.

 

[JoeKeys9]

ive already done this and much more in 2019-2020 when I was part of a top rowing frat and performing at optimal levels socially+athletically.

My life was better, felt better, yet I still had this massive unresolved trauma always lingering in the background, always.

I agree that being busy is better and indeed, you are less over-thinking.

But the problem I was facing back then, is that the more I socialized with people, the more lonely I felt.
I recognized that all these people I was socializing with, never had any trauma, they never had garbage childhoods, they were always happy and socialized, happy, cared after, etc.
I started feeling alienated, even when I was part of their cliques. Good social experiences kept reminding me of my past and how bad my social experiences were as a child, compared to their great childhood experiences.

It would ruin the moment and make me feel like shit, like I am some freak subhuman beast.

I have severe mental trauma, PTSD, etc. You can't compare me to the average 'failed-normie' struggling.

I have demons from the past haunting me. It's horrible.

sounds like ur just self pitying. stay busy and try forget about it

if ur running a business and gymmaxxing and boxingmaxxing and see ur gf after work you dont have time to think about bad shit in the past

 

[Madridista]

One flew over the cuckoo's nest.

 

[MoggerGaston]

sounds like ur just self pitying. stay busy and try forget about it

if ur running a business and gymmaxxing and boxingmaxxing and see ur gf after work you dont have time to think about bad shit in the past

I agree with you in the sense that you can struggle with trauma but experience good life quality through gf/money/status and cope with that.

But I don't have a gf, I don't have money, I don't have status. You are telling me to stay busy, etc. but in the short term this wont lead to status/money/gf. So I only have work without results.

that's the brutal part. You work work work, but there's no result.

 

[JoeKeys9]

I agree with you in the sense that you can struggle with trauma but experience good life quality through gf/money/status and cope with that.

But I don't have a gf, I don't have money, I don't have status. You are telling me to stay busy, etc. but in the short term this wont lead to status/money/gf. So I only have work without results.

that's the brutal part. You work work work, but there's no result.

well yea its pretty demoralizing

 

[MoggerGaston]

well yea its pretty demoralizing

only if you take life seriously

today I look at the world as one big joke, and honestly, it's all kind of fun and entertaining.

 

[Primalsplit]

Yo

The thing about fictional characters like Batman, but likewise IRL characters with mental trauma,
who use their pain, hatred, grief, sorrow as FUEL to achieve 'superhuman' accomplishments.

The thing is that it's only admired, loved, liked from the outside. We admire them.
The mentally ill individuals themselves, they don't get to enjoy their own accomplishments.

They are stuck in that permanent cycle of trauma fueling them to do the next superhuman thing. Then they achieve it, realize they still feel like garbage due to unresolved trauma, and they go onto the next project. Rinse and repeat.

It's an interesting life, I don't disagree. But it requires a very delicate type of circumstances to even be a viable thing at all in the first place.
The average person with severe mental trauma simply become some homeless addicted retard.

Even with my 130IQ and coping with trauma through academic over-achievement in my youth, combined with a high-T competitive drive, I wasn't able to achieve anything meaningful.
Not the right amount of luck, circumstance, family background, etc.
I come from a poor slavic shit family, not multi-billionaire batman style.

If batman was born in some slavic shit-family in Arkham, he would just have become one of the thugs he is now killing, etc.


I want to be batman too. But ain't happening.

You are wrong dude.

Batman "doesn't kill".